Mine and Ashley's story part 1

October 6, 2005 is the day that my whole life changed. I went into labor the day before at school. I was scared and terrified. My sister stood there trying to help me feel better. I had been laboring for 16 hours when I heard that first cry. It was the sweetest sound I had ever heard in my young life. I held her and kissed her sweet face. She was 6.9lbs and 21in long. For the 12 hours that my sister gave me with my daughter before calling the social worker where pure bliss. The worker showed up and told the staff that I was no longer allowed to have my daughter room with me. The adoptive parents where called and on their way to take my sweet baby home with them. I knew that keeping that sweet angel that she would be in danger. I was only 14 years old, and my only real support was my older sister who was slowly dieing from renal failure, and then I would have to go back to the abusive home life that was my dad's home.


After the adoptive parents took my little girl home with them, they would send me updates twice a year. Christmas and Mothers day. I always wondered how she really was, and if she needed me. I felt that I had betrayed my little girl by allowing her to be placed and not trying to find a way to keep her.  From the pictures I would receive I would see a happy healthy baby turn into a happy toddler, and then into a happy kid.

During this time I graduated from high school and meet my wonderful husband. He was so wonderful with my melt downs after I would receive a email. He helped me stop punishing myself. I had been hurting myself because I never really dealt with everything surrounding getting pregnant and the adoption. We got married April 2009. We moved to the DC area in July 2010 because my husband is in the Army. I found out I was pregnant February of 2011. I was so happy and yet at the same time ashamed of myself. Here I was 22 married and pregnant again, but this time I was actually excited to be expecting a little miracle.  I wrote to the parents to tell them that Ashley was going to have a half sister come September.

In July I was having complications with my pregnancy. I was leaking fluid and on hospital bedrest. I got a phone call from the adoptive parents telling me that this little angel of mine was in the hospital and most likely never going to come home. She had been feeling pretty weak for a few weeks which everyone thought was because of the heat. This morning she started pucking blood and stomach lining up. The doctors told them that she has chronic myelogenous leukemia. They asked me to help by donating my bone marrow if it was a match. I reminded them that I would be unable to find out till i gave birth. They told me they where unsure if Ashley could wait that long.  My second daughter was born July 22, 2011, 6 weeks early.  It was as if my baby wanted to be born at that time. I donated my new daughters cord blood to help save her sister.