Pics

Princess Aurora 1 year old and still has my heart

Aurora Faith....

She was born July 22, 2012. She was 4.5lbs and 16inches long. Born 6 weeks early and spent a month in the NICU learning how to breath on her own and learning how to eat. She came home weighing 5lbs and 18inches long. I loved the early days with her. She was such a quite baby and nursed so well. When she was 2 months old she got to meet her daddy for the first. I was so proud of my husband for defending our country that I forgave him for missing the first 2 months of our daughters life. As Aurora has grown she has become a very oppionated little girl. She fusses when she is not done nursing, or if you change the tv channel from what she is into, (she loves to listen / watch Glee, Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, and Suburgatory). She never got to meet her sister Ashley, but I know that she is being watched over by her and my sister who passed away 6 years ago.

Part 2

After I was released from the hospital I keep calling and asking for updates on Ashley. I was so worried about her and wanted to know that she was ok. I ended up being told that I had no rights to ask about her and that the parents where grateful for the donated cord blood. I was angry and hurt. My new born baby was fine and came home a month after she was born. 


In September I was served court papers. The parents where suing me for slander and solicitation because i asked them to pay me back for the cord blood. I was court ordered to stop using my online accounts and to keep my mouth shut about the case. My lawyer was amazing and keep me calm during this mess. My lawyer had told me that i would most likely never get to meet Ashley till she came looking for me, and that I should be happy with any contact that the parents allowed. He went thru everything that was in the adoption decree and found where the adoptive parents had REQUESTED that I be involved in every part of Ashley's life. That they wanted me to have unsupervised visitation with her and to have a say in her medical and educational. I had no idea about any of this. My lawyer presented it all to the judge saying that I only wanted to know that my daughter was ok, and to maybe meet her and spend time with her. That I was even ok with it being supervised visitation. The judge made the parents eat their own words in the long run. He ordered them to allow me to have visitation and to keep me updated on all Ashley's medical care and on her grades in school. I was shocked. I had never heard or known of a birth mother being granted any of this. 


I got to meet Ashley. She was more amazing then I imagined. She looked liked her sperm donor, but had so much of me. She was super smart and wanted to know everything about me and her sister. She was in remission and wanted to meet her baby sister to thank her for saving her life. 


Ashley passed away February 22, 2012 after being hit by a car on her way to school. I miss her, and feel like I wasn't a good mom for not being there to save her.

Mine and Ashley's story part 1

October 6, 2005 is the day that my whole life changed. I went into labor the day before at school. I was scared and terrified. My sister stood there trying to help me feel better. I had been laboring for 16 hours when I heard that first cry. It was the sweetest sound I had ever heard in my young life. I held her and kissed her sweet face. She was 6.9lbs and 21in long. For the 12 hours that my sister gave me with my daughter before calling the social worker where pure bliss. The worker showed up and told the staff that I was no longer allowed to have my daughter room with me. The adoptive parents where called and on their way to take my sweet baby home with them. I knew that keeping that sweet angel that she would be in danger. I was only 14 years old, and my only real support was my older sister who was slowly dieing from renal failure, and then I would have to go back to the abusive home life that was my dad's home.


After the adoptive parents took my little girl home with them, they would send me updates twice a year. Christmas and Mothers day. I always wondered how she really was, and if she needed me. I felt that I had betrayed my little girl by allowing her to be placed and not trying to find a way to keep her.  From the pictures I would receive I would see a happy healthy baby turn into a happy toddler, and then into a happy kid.

During this time I graduated from high school and meet my wonderful husband. He was so wonderful with my melt downs after I would receive a email. He helped me stop punishing myself. I had been hurting myself because I never really dealt with everything surrounding getting pregnant and the adoption. We got married April 2009. We moved to the DC area in July 2010 because my husband is in the Army. I found out I was pregnant February of 2011. I was so happy and yet at the same time ashamed of myself. Here I was 22 married and pregnant again, but this time I was actually excited to be expecting a little miracle.  I wrote to the parents to tell them that Ashley was going to have a half sister come September.

In July I was having complications with my pregnancy. I was leaking fluid and on hospital bedrest. I got a phone call from the adoptive parents telling me that this little angel of mine was in the hospital and most likely never going to come home. She had been feeling pretty weak for a few weeks which everyone thought was because of the heat. This morning she started pucking blood and stomach lining up. The doctors told them that she has chronic myelogenous leukemia. They asked me to help by donating my bone marrow if it was a match. I reminded them that I would be unable to find out till i gave birth. They told me they where unsure if Ashley could wait that long.  My second daughter was born July 22, 2011, 6 weeks early.  It was as if my baby wanted to be born at that time. I donated my new daughters cord blood to help save her sister.